METHUSELAH WAS THE OLDEST person in the bible, reaching the rather splendid age of 969. He’s otherwise only of interest for being Noah’s grandfather, and Noah obviously inherited his genes – he made it to 950. Elsewhere, we read that Adam lasted to 930, while his third son Seth achieved an impressive 912 years.

So why are we now limited to four score and ten, give or take?

Here’s my solution. Noah and his sons took their respective wives with them onto the ark, as instructed. But at some point during those torrid 40 days and nights one of the sons had a row with his missus, and slunk away to seek solace in the arms of one of the many species of monkey aboard the ark. The result: Homo Sapiens, as we now know him.

I think that rather neatly reconciles evolution with the creationists, don’t you?