Barging in
I HAVE LITTLE RESPECT for power. And when I can see a way to help someone out, I tend to barge in regardless. Here are two examples. The first was at a Christmas party for the Daily Telegraph, where I got talking to a freelancer who had some ideas she wanted to pitch to the […]
Just say yes
A FEW YEARS AGO I was giving a talk to a group of students about the business of being a freelance illustrator. After the talk one student came up to ask my advice: he’d been offered a job editing films, he said, but he didn’t know how to use the software. Should he take the […]
Advertising work
THERE’S NOTHING ADVERTISING AGENCIES like more than spending their clients’ money. (Actually, that’s not quite true. The one thing they like more is spending a weekend with a naked woman, especially if the client is paying for it and the photo shoot is in the Bahamas.) They’ll happily blow thousands on irrelevant details, and clients […]
I solemnly swear
PICTURE THE SCENE: you’re driving along in your car and you accidentally bump into the car in front. The door opens and out steps a German, or a Frenchman, or an Italian. He waves his fist and lets out a tirade of furious oaths – all in German, or French, or Italian. Unless you’re fluent […]
Learn by teaching
I’D BEEN USING PHOTOSHOP for many years when a student in a class I was teaching suggested I write a book about it. I thought little more about it, until a letter arrived from a publisher saying that one of their other authors suggested I might be interested in writing a Photoshop book for them. […]
Ne regrette rien
JE NE REGRETTE RIEN, sang Edith Piaf plaintively. “Formidable,” she exclaimed when she first heard it, “this is the song I have been waiting for. It will be my biggest success!” And so it was. For good reason. We all make mistakes. We all say things we wish we could take back, and do things […]
Meetings and action
EVERYONE LOVES A GOOD MEETING. It gives them the opportunity to nibble a few custard creams, to drink more coffee than is good for them and to play the odd surreptitious game of Angry Birds while checking their social feeds. Meetings take place during the working day, and so everyone who attends a meeting is […]
Speak softly
WHEN WORKPLACE DISCUSSIONS turn into arguments, tempers begin to fray and the atmosphere can quickly heat up. Pretty soon, someone’s going to start shouting. Don’t attempt to shout back. That will only result in them shouting louder, and the winner will be the one who shouts the loudest. Instead, lower your voice so you’re speaking deliberately […]
And another thing…
GOT A COMPLAINT? Good. Then make it. After all, no-one wants to be treated like a doormat. The ability to complain is a fundamental human right. But if you do complain, either by phone or by email or in person, then just complain about one thing. Keep your complaint short and to the point. That […]
He who hesitates
HE WHO HESITATES IS LOST, we’re told. (The quotation is actually a misquote from Joseph Addison’s 1712 play Cato, in which he says “The woman that deliberates is lost.”) It doesn’t mean that you should leap precipitously into a new situation, but that hesitation produces unforeseen complications. Suppose you’re driving your car and are pulling out into […]
How to get to sleep
IT’S A COMMON PROBLEM: you lie awake at night trying to get to sleep, trying to free your mind, but the harder you try, the more elusive sleep becomes. Here’s a method that works for me. Close your eyes. OK, now open them again so you can read the rest of this paragraph, but then […]
Polite notice
WE’RE ALL USED TO SEEING so-called ‘polite notices’ – which aren’t polite at all, of course; the word is there simply so that, at a glance, we misread the as ‘police notice’. Attempts at real polite notices tend to backfire, such as the Thank you for not smoking that used to appear in the back of taxis […]
We need zombies
EVERY GENERATION needs its baddies. In the 1940s and 50s, it was Red Indians. In the 60s, it was Nazis. In the 70s and 80s, it was aliens. And in the 21st century, it’s zombies. Why do we need them? Because every generation needs an enemy that can be slaughtered in huge numbers with impunity, without […]
Be arsed
YOU’RE SITTING THERE on a Saturday evening with nothing to do. A friend phones and asks if you’d like to go to for a drink. You think… oh, I really can’t be arsed. Be arsed. Be bothered. Because so many people can’t be bothered, and being bothered is worth it.